what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
