Me too!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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