WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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