you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
