tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
