On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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