I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
