OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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