I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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