There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
