Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
