You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
