I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
