im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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