smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
handjob tips. give me some.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
