theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
They have beer where we have blood.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
