We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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