No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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