i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm like, not good at living.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
