As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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