She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
