I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just found a bag of teeth...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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