Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
