Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
