dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
