What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
