Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
