You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
