But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
