last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
