I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
