I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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