this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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