If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize