She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
that's an acceptable place to lick
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
