Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
