hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
