i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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