If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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