i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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