Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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