Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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