left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
