So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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