Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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