Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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