awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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