You just made me feel so damn special
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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