The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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