If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
