Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
