I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
