Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The uberlube is also flammable
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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