Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
