I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
