its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
