So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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