Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
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