just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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