There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
