you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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